Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

Fun facts

101 silly and not-so-silly things about me that you may or may not know:

1). I'm the rare person who's both a cat person and a dog person.
2). I wrote my undergraduate English honors thesis on something I hate -- postmodernism -- and something I love -- comic books.
3). The last two books I cried over were Pedro and Me by Judd Winick and Mama Day by Gloria Naylor.
4). I shop when I'm depressed.
5). I'm depressed a lot more often than I'd like.
6). I've been on (in order) Zoloft, Prozac, Celexa, and Paxil in attempts to correct #5.
7). In the immortal words of the Spin Doctors (remember them? maybe they're not so immortal), I always let my heart go too fast.
8). I love compliments...
9). but I have trouble accepting them from my friends because I always think they're just saying that because they're my friends.
10). I think Homicide: Life on the Street is the best damn TV drama ever, and proof that television is a viable literary form...
11). and for some reason, I frequently have dreams involving the characters.

12). I used to have a wonderful work ethic until about two years ago.
13). Then I had an attack of seniorits which I still haven't gotten over.
14). Most people like the LiveJournal me better than the meetspace me.
15). I'm still trying to prove my geek cred.
16). I was really proud of being 42nd (note the significance) in my class (about 700-something) at Vanderbilt�
17). but I'm still bummed I only got Honors in English instead of High Honors.
18). In case you hadn't noticed, I set ridiculous standards for myself.
19). I have a guilt complex so large my own mother once asked me if I was Jewish.
20). I feel extremely guilty about passing my quals when people who studied harder than me didn't.
21). I believe in karma despite the fact that I've seen very little evidence of it in my own life.
22). 22 is my lucky number because I was born on April 22 and I first went to TIP on June 22.
23). which makes the sudden appearance of people born on February 22 an even more positive omen.
24). Deep inside I think school's the only thing I've ever been any good at�
25). and that's why my mediocrity in grad school is so frustrating.
26). Could also be the fact that I really thought grad school was what I wanted to do from the time I was 17.
27). I made that decision at the Governor's School for the Humanities at The University of Tennessee at Martin.
28). Governor's School and TIP probably saved my life.
29). Which makes me really hate the Tennessee legislature for getting rid of Governor's School.
30). On the other hand, working at TIP was a miserable experience.
31). Potatoes are my favorite comfort food.
32). I wish I could make chicken and dumplings like my Granny Lane�
33). and stewed potatoes, beans, and fried ham sandwiches like my Granny Sallye.
34). Granny Sallye is now in the late stages of Alzheimer's disease.
35). I agree with Jason that it's poetic justice that Ronald Reagan, who cut Alzheimer's research funding, now has the disease himself.
36). Not that it matters, because he was always an idiot�
37). which I learned (and repeated frequently) at a very young age�
38). because I come from a long and proud line of yellow-dog Democrats.
39). Though I've seriously considered voting for Ralph Nader in the past two presidential elections.
40). I think George W. Bush just might be even dumber than Ronald Reagan. Are the Homeland Security people going to come get me for saying that?
41). John Ashcroft can kiss my fat liberal ass.
42). I'm not very happy with my weight.
43). My daddy says I will make a good ACLU lawyer.
44). I've considered becoming a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure I'd burst into tears the first time one of my witnesses got reamed on a cross-examination. Last time I checked, "Objection! It's not fair!" doesn't fly with most judges.
45). Nonetheless, I spent about a month during my junior year of college trying to convince myself that what I really wanted was to become a corporate lawyer, so I'd be filthy rich.
46). It hasn't worked� yet.
47). I am my own worst critic.
48). I think the word "poop" is ridiculously funny, especially when said in a very high-pitched voice.
49). I lived on the German hall in college...
50). and was known as the hall schmutzigmund (dirty-mouth)...
51). because I thought "Wie sagt man 'I'm gonna kick your ass' auf Deutsch?" was appropriate dinner conversation.
52). Just for the record, it's "Ich werde deine Arsch tritten."
53). I was also known for my collection of stuffed animals.
54). I cut the tags off my Beanie Babies just to make the point that I'm not speculating.
55). I believe every person is allowed one great irrational fear in life, and mine is snakes.
56). I think watching "Blind Date" is a great way to unwind.
57). If I'm feeling really down on myself, occasionally I'll watch Springer and go "At least I'm not that bad."
58). I can drink a lot for a chick.
59). I've only had a hangover once in my life.
60). I hate beer.
61). I've been described (by Strobel) as "a man's woman."
62). Nonetheless, I still really dig mega-girly stuff like glitter, Hello Kitty, and Victoria's Secret.
63). Though I also like some stereotypically male stuff, like The Godfather.
64). If I were a cartoon character, I'd be a cross between Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls and Daria.
65). I have been known to inspire obsession.
66). which is only fair because I'm fairly obsessive myself.
67). My favorite movie is Rushmore.
68). I know most Barenaked Ladies songs by heart.
69). The bands most often found in my "current music" tag are the Barenaked Ladies and Cake.
70). I've only recently begun to have close girlfriends I actually trust.
71). I don't know why I've had so many wonderful guy friends and yet pretty bad luck with men romantically.
72). I can chase a stray cat around trying to get it to come to me for hours.
73). Celebrities I would like to make out with: Jakob Dylan, Neil Gaiman, Alan Rickman, David Duchovny, Richard Belzer.
74). I'm straight... except when it comes to Gillian Anderson.
75). I want to be a better friend, especially to Jason.
76). I'm way oversensitive.
77). I get disappointed when I put people on my friends list and they don't put me on theirs.
78). I'm extremely insecure.
79). I have a really weird obsession with ducks (or as I call them, duckies).
80). James refers to me as the "gossip clearinghouse."
81). I'm also obsessed with the Titanic and can tell you some really random shit about it.
82). I think my creative writing classes in college might have scared me more than they helped me.
83). I could get so much more shit done if I didn't have to sleep so damn much.
84). I can fall asleep anywhere.
85). I sleep through my alarm clock on a regular basis.
86). If I had a gun, I'd use it to shoot my alarm clock (like Katchoo in Strangers in Paradise).
87). Speaking of Strangers in Paradise, I'm a Francine who desperately wants to be a Katchoo.
88). I'm convinced the "liberal media" is a myth.
89). I think the Republican party has done a terrific job of convincing the South that they're the "party of the common man."
90). I suspect this may have something to do with racism.
91). I broke with the Southern Baptists after they passed a proclamation that "women should graciously submit to their husbands."
92). I'd like to bitch-slap those chicks who wrote The Rules.
93). I really enjoy (well-written) romance novels while still recognizing the limits of the genre.
94). We all developed weird quirks while studying for the quals. Mine? My swearing tripled.
95). I fantasize about having my own rock band, even though I'm an atrocious singer and can't play any instrument besides the clarinet.
96). Most people can identify me as a clarinet player just by looking at me.
97). If I had it to do over, I would play the saxophone.
98). My mom thinks I've gotten too liberal.
99). I'm possibly the biggest procrastinator I know.
100). Most of my friends make fun of my taste in music.
101). I haven't even seen my bedroom floor in months.
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