Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

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SVU snark

I have got to find healthier ways of dealing with my stress. Ways that do not include lying on the floor eating ice cream.

I'm still trying to decide if I would describe the Law and Order: Special Victims Unit premiere as "sucktastic" or "craptacular". Hmmm, think I'll take both and call it even. Let's see, what have we got?

  • Yet another failed sitcom star "as you've never seen her before!" -- i.e. batshit crazy
  • Munch not getting to do anything (they could have at least let him in on the car chase)
  • The troubling (at least to me) implication from Elliott that he'd do the same thing as Lea Thompson, despite the very obvious psychological damage to the child and, oh, the fact that it's illegal
  • Diane Neal's performance as Casey Novak just keeps getting worse. Congratulations, how does it feel to play the most incompetent and least likable ADA in Law and Order history?
  • Then again, it's not really Neal's fault that Casey is written as an idiot. Casey on King Solomon: "I can't cut the baby in half..." I'm sorry, how did you finish law school without getting the point of that little story?
  • And let's call a fucking moratorium already on Casey tracking down the cops for advice in an attempt to make the audience like her. Ain't workin', yo.
  • The penultimate scene in which Casey, attempting to show off how much she's learned from Elliott, does God only knows how much emotional damage to the 7-year-old victim on the stand. Nice going there!

After witnessing this train wreck, I had to call sertrel to diss on it. We bitched about how the writers can't write Munch at all and I said they could hire me for $300 a week to write three Munch lines per episode. Like, a hundred bucks a line. And they'd be good lines. It's a bargain. sertrel took the position that I'd neevr last because the average intelligence or lack thereof of the average SVU writer would drive me as batshit crazy as one of those failed sitcom stars doing a guest bit. I told him that I'd send the rest of the writers out for a Ben and Jerry's run and write the whole episode while they were gone.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, ice cream to ice cream. I think that's a good stopping point for this post.

There's a little black cloud hanging over my head today. I wish it'd go away.

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