April 18, 2002
Dear Em and Lo,
Why do men hound you down, then disappear — poof! What do they get scared of, when you're smart, sexy and very attractive? I don't want to get married, just have fun.
— Miss Meow
Dear MM,
They disappear because the grass is always greener on the other side: they worry about what they're missing. Because they don't want to belong to a club that would have them as members. Because when the chase is over, there is no challenge, and when there is no challenge, there is no point. Because it's exhausting to worry — and care — about someone else all the time. Because commitment and intimacy can feel like the death of independence and freedom. Because there are things they give up in order to gain a relationship, and sometimes they think they're giving up more than they're getting. Because you've got issues they don't want to deal with. Because you've got issues even you don't want to deal with. Because they've got issues. Period. Because sometimes the expectation exceeds the reality. Because they've told all their good stories and have nothing interesting left to say. Because you fart in your sleep, chew with your mouth open or like the band that sings the theme song to "Friends." Because they don't know what they've got till it's gone. Because love is scary.
The same goes for women.
Woof, woof,
Em & Lo