September 5th, 2001


I am now cool. I have a LiveJournal.

Well, after threatening for months, I finally did it. Props to Adric for providing the invite code.

I'd been wanting to get all my ducks in a row before I joined up -- deal with some nagging personal business and all that. But there's no time like the present. So hello LiveJournal, here I am.

Love and the wars of gender perception

Here's something that's been bugging me for a while.

Everywhere I look, there's sex. Sex sex sex. Sex and the City. Sex and the Single Girl. Sex spam popping up on my email. And an awful lot of it is directed straight at me -- a twentysomething single woman.

And it's telling me that in order to be a complete twentysomething single woman, I have to "take control of my sexuality."

There are apparently very specific rules for taking control of one's sexuality if you're a woman. You need to:

1). Have lots of sex,
2). which you then brag about
3). and maintain complete emotional detachment from
4). in order to prove you're a liberated woman.

This view is becoming so pervasive (at least in the media) that even that bastion of women's fantasies, Harlequin Romance, is releasing a new line of books dedicated to being "edgy" (whatever that is) and "pushing the envelope." I skimmed one. Even I can think of edgier things, and more importantly for a romance novel, it just wasn't very romantic.

Now, I consider myself a liberated woman even if I am celibate and a technical virgin. This is my own choice. If I let the media, or my edgy girlfriends, persuade me that in order to be a complete twenty-first-century woman I need to have a lot of sex RIGHT NOW, I'm no more in control of my sexuality than if I were some poor teenager giving in to my pushy first boyfriend. Not having sex is a decision too, you know.

So it's okay for women to want sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that women have that freedom, though the damned double standard is still around. On the other hand, there's a new double standard. Love. If a woman wants love, everyone around her (me) seems to delight in telling her (me) that she's (I'm) trapped in the patriarchy and am dooming her (my) life and career to failure. On the other hand, if a man wants to find love, that's considered noble.

I don't need a man to make my life complete. But damn, I sure do enjoy having someone special. Does this make me a failure as a feminist? Hell no. I wish that everyone could recognize that.
  • Current Music
    Innovox mix


I'm *already* addicted to this.

And a great big hug to Andrew for being the first to add me to his friends list. Everyone go tell him Happy Birthday!!


I was just transferring funds and balancing my checkbook when I realized.


And I have to get a new place within the next little bit. My mom can give me a little help later in the month, but what if I have to pay for a place in the next few days? What if I lose a good place because my bank account just can't cover it?

I get paid at the end of the month (real money, stipend money, not just my library pittance). But it's only September 5!! There's always the credit card, but I shudder to think how overloaded it already is.

Just hope I can make it.
  • Current Music
    Money -- That's What I Want -- the Beatles

Putting the smack down

Today I opened up my first can of whoop-ass on an Emory student.

One of the students I'll be TAing on Friday was sitting right next to me in Brit Lit lecture, writing something which obviously wasn't class notes. I told him not to do his homework for other classes during lecture. He replied it wasn't homework and he was paying attention to the professor, and continued blithely writing. Now I was pissed. And when the prof started reading from Beowulf, the kid didn't even get his book out.

As soon as the prof dismissed class, I told him to bring his book next time. He said he did bring it. I told him to get it out and follow along next time so he would get more out of the class.

It's a little early for me to make enemies, but it's not too early for me to assert my authority. And according to my prof, co-TA, and older, wiser, grad students, I handled it beautifully.

So those Emory students had better watch it, or they'll get Kellinated.
  • Current Music
    Start the Commotion

Crystal-packin' momma

Lately I've gotten really interested in folk magick (hedge magick, as Adric calls it). Crystals/rocks/minerals/whatever are among the most accessible (and cheapest), so I've gotten a few I really like. The crystals I'm carrying today (and, incidentally, the only ones I own, unless I got some when I was a kid and forgot about them):

Near my heart chakra:

-- hematite (to help with depression; I take it out and rub it a lot. Adric says I might as well, I've tried everything else)
-- malachite (to help with expressing myself, per Janel's recommendation)
-- garnet (for passion. James admired the cut)
-- clear quartz (for amplification of the other stones)
-- rose quartz (two pieces. One is for romance and was used in conjunction with the garnet and clear quartz. The other is a piece I was really drawn to this weekend and am using to raise my self-love)

Power beads (I got these when the fad was huge a year or two ago, and rediscovered them recently. The fad's over, but I need the help):

-- rose quartz (love and friendship)
-- amethyst (intelligence)
-- fluorite (balance, though to tell the truth, I really got them because the stones are pretty)

If anyone has any recommendations, corrections, or crystals of their own, I'd love to hear.

Now I need to go pick out a very special crystal for a very special person.
  • Current Music
    New Age Girl