October 5th, 2001



It doesn't matter whether I get three hours of sleep or thirteen -- I'm still exhausted.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained

This can't be normal.

I was just wondering how much longer I can possibly be this depressed and what it's going to take for me to snap out of it. I've taken my antidepressants, been to therapy (individual and group), and, as best as I can tell, done everything you're supposed to to deal with this. So why can't I beat it?

I've been thinking about "checking out" as I term it a lot lately. I just feel so rotten and I don't know how to fix it. I keep trying, I keep trying, I've done everything I can think of, and I feel like I'm fresh out of ideas. I'm beating my head against a brick wall, so is it any surprise that I've got a headache?

(And by the way, if anyone responds to this with "oh, you think you have it bad? well listen to the week I've had. Z didn't return my phone call and Y didn't compliment me on my new clothes and...." I intend to find the nearest sharp implement and do something creative with it. You've been warned. Like you'd care.)
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed


Today I found out that I passed the qualifying exam.

Months of stress for a two-line letter that says I passed.

It's funny, I was sweating blood over this thing, and now I find out that I passed and it doesn't matter at all.
  • Current Mood
    blank blank

Hindsight is 20-20.

Doesn't it drive you up the wall when you think of the perfect comeback days, weeks even, after the fact?

Sophocles, screaming: "[name deleted to protect the guilty] tried to feel you up at Dragon*Con?!"
Kellinator: "What can I say? I'm geekalicious."
  • Current Music
    "Whip It" -- Devo

Did you know?

The Interests box on your LiveJournal profile maxes out at 150.

Like I could be interested in just a hundred and fifty things.

So I'm having to prioritize my interests, just like I do in real life. Like, which do I like more -- cheese or Tom Tomorrow? I mean, Tom Tomorrow's a genius. Fucking brilliant. But I really like cheese. Sometimes I need cheese. Whereas I don't often walk around craving the next This Modern World, though I do look forward to it.

But liking Tom Tomorrow really says something about me. Whereas cheese, well, everyone likes cheese. Newt fuckin' Gingrich probably likes cheese. So there you go.
  • Current Mood
    not cheesy