Kellinator Jones and the Temple of Snark

You know when you're at the pool and you're trying to breathe through your nose but it hurts because you've gotten chlorine in your nose? That's how I feel right now.

I don't want to write this paper I don't want to write this paper I don't want to write this paper...

(thud thud thud thud)

What I really need right now is a nice backrub and about 72 hours of sleep.

I haven't slept. I've been working on this damn paper. And I still have papers to grade. I'm going to have to pull a true all-nighter.

And the hysterical thing is, no matter how miserable I am, I won't be able to bring myself to skip classes tomorrow because I've done all the damn homework!!! If I'm going to prepare, I want everyone to know it, dammit!!!

I am a golden goddess!!!!

I have pulled an all-nighter to write that stupid paper!!

I rock!! I rule!!

I ...still have twenty-something undergrad papers to grade.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I haven't slept in over 24 hours.

I am borderline psychotic.

Please, do not expect anything of me today. I won't be able to give it. I want someone to give to me for a change.

And if you hear any strange reports on the news, you'll know someone got in my way.