Kellinator Jones and the Temple of Snark

Hang out at the Emory library (which is open 24 hours). At about 12:30 AM or so, when there are still lots of people but they're starting to look tired and obviously unhappy to be there, run around between the computers waving your arms and making airplane noises.

Be sure and wave as you're escorted out. Manners are important.

I admit it freely and without shame: I love Survivor. Have since partway through the first season, when my then-boss' enthusiasm (read: ranting) inspired me to tune in. Within minutes I was hooked and threatening to vote one of my roommates off the island. I find the psychology of it utterly fascinating. I remain totally addicted. I've backed out of memorial services to watch it (shame! shame!) and fast-talked skeptical friends into viewing it whether they wanted to or not. Most academics and more-intellectual-than-thou types look down on me for my unabashed adoration of this "silly" little show, but hey, it's not the first time. (Some of my profs still can't believe I actually read and even review romance novels. But I digress.)

Everyone knows that part of the charm of Survivor is the bad guys you love to hate. Jerri. Richard. But this cast sure overdid it. Between the Gen-Xers from Hell, the bitchy older generation, Clarence the cherry-napper, and Tom the redneck/Grand Wizard, there's not a whole lot to go on. In my opinion, part of the fun is also rooting for the good guys, the ones you identify with. Who wouldn't love to have a mom like Gretchen (who has cashed in on her fame to raise money for charity), a grandpa like Rodger, shopping buddies like Elisabeth and Colleen? Not many of those in this cast.

However, there is the incomparable Lex. Lex is smart, calm, resourceful, and nice. He's also my first Survivor crush.

Lex and I are going to have beautiful babies. They'll have my brown eyes... and his blue hair.

I am 53% Grunge.

I am pretty dirty, all right and, I reek of teen spirit... I would sell my own children for a moldy hotpocket, man. Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!

If you've ever been to a guest lecture, you know what I'm talking about. There's someone in the room who's just in love with the sound of his/her voice, and will totally monopolize the speaker's -- and your -- time to ask inane questions which either reflect that the questioner did not pay attention to the talk in the first place or just wishes to try and one-up the speaker.

There was a chick like that at the lecture I went to tonight. When she asked her third question, I headed for the door.

The most irritated I've ever been, though, was twice at Vanderbilt. Once, this really annoying guy completely monopolized a wonderful prof who had come to the dorms one night to talk to us. I wanted to ask him how we could make Vandy's atmosphere more intellectual, but couldn't because this jerk kept babbling to the prof about everything he was going to do, how he was perfect and was going to have the most wonderful life because he was so perfect... I really wanted to deck that jerk. The other time was when I went to see a speaker on the recommendation of my history prof. The guy said he'd talk for twenty minutes and then went on for an hour and a half. He was nauseatingly boring. I thought I was going to die, and I had brought a friend, too. And it was a Friday afternoon. And the guy finally finished and asked for questions, and the one person in the room (and possibly the world) who thought this guy was interesting asked a question which basically asked him to continue the talk. Which he did. For another half an hour. My prof had to bring donuts to the history department to earn his colleagues' forgiveness for inviting that dork to speak.

I want my interests list to say as much about what makes me me as it possibly can. Which means it's time to revise it. Time to cut out some of those meaningless interests that everyone has -- tv, movies, music, of course I like those! Who doesn't? Time to replace them with ones that say more about me -- Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson (the geniuses behind Rushmore, my favorite movie). And... umm... I forgot. But I'm sure it'll come back to me as I'm updating the list.

I wonder what someone reading the list for the first time would think. What Christianity and paganism are doing together? I'm a Christian who practices a little bit of magick, and believe me, I'm getting it from both sides for that one. How about the liberal stuff? Yes, I'm one of the three liberal Christians remaining in the South. Hmm, the South would be a good interest.

And just in case anyone is wondering, cheese is going back up ;)

Forget what the cat dragged in. I look like what the cat threw up.