January 22nd, 2002


This is just to say...

Phil and I are back together.

Well, I'll say a little more than that...

We talked. We both apologized for things we had said in the heat of the moment. We talked about some of the issues. I told him about some of the things I'd figured out. We agreed to give it a try.

Am I scared? Shitless. But hope springs eternal, and I'm willing to take a risk on something I think could be worth it.

I want to thank everyone who has supported me and cared about me. You are all wonderful.
  • Current Music
    "Love You Madly" -- Cake

Spam spam spam spam

I get so much spam. Most of it goes to my "junk mail" folder, but it still irritates me, because it's just so damn irritating.

A lot of it is telling me how to increase my penis size. Because I gotta tell you, I lie awake at night wondering "How can I increase my penis size?"
  • Current Music
    Monty Python Spam skit

Making a fool of myself

Innovox has kareoke tonight. I wanna go.

Actually, I'd like to sing... and therein is where the problem lies. I have no discernable singing voice. When I was in plays as a kid, they told me just to move my lips. I think I got to play Cinderella's evil stepsister once simply because the role called for me to sing a song very badly, and I didn't even have to try. My former roommates, one a music student, attempted to bar me from singing along with the radio in my own fucking car.

I have done kareoke before.... "Da Da Da" and "Baby Got Back." Those are two songs that don't actually require singing, and anyway, it was McTyeire and everyone else was drunk.

But I'd really like to do this one song...

A few months back, I was driving up 400 to attend an event at the invitation of a male who liked to screw around with my head. And "Flavor of the Weak" by American Hi-Fi came on the radio.

At the time, I was thinking of a friend of mine who had finally decided to get free from her horrible boyfriend who treated her like crap. And next thing I knew, I was screeching out the lyrics, screaming so loud the car was shaking... for my friend, for myself chasing after someone that deep down I knew didn't care, for everyone I cared about who had ever been hurt.

"She paints her nails and she don't know
He's got her best friend on the phone
She'll wash her hair
His dirty clothes are all he gives to her
And he's got posters on the wall
Of all the girls he wished she was
And he means everything to her

Her boyfriend, he don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned, Nintendo
I wish that I could make her see
She's just the flavor of the weak

It's friday night and she's all alone
He's a million miles away
She's dressed to kill
But the TV's on
He's connected to the sound
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before
And she knows all his favorite songs

Repeat Chorus


Her boyfriend, he don't know
Anything about her
He's too stoned, he's too stoned
He's too stoned, he's too stoned

Repeat Chorus

Yeah she's the flavor of the weak
But she makes me weak..."

So anyway, if I get the guts, maybe I'll sing my punk rawk version.
  • Current Music
    what do you think?