May 9th, 2002


A tale of two Mays

May 2000: I was graduating from Vanderbilt 42nd in my class of seven hundred-something, was expecting to get engaged soon to a guy who worshiped me, and had the whole world at my feet.

May 2002: I just bombed yet another class, thus ensuring my hoped-for advisor thinks I'm a lazy moron, I'm over a thousand dollars in credit-card debt, I can barely get out of bed in the mornings, I couldn't get a date in a singles bar full of desperate men, and I have no idea what to do next.

I've gained forty pounds and lost everything that mattered.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

Absolutely true story

In my depression over what's looking more and more like the end of my grad school career, I went downstairs to buy a Snickers.

At the snack machine, I got to wishing that God would give me a sign, I don't even know what of, by putting an extra coin in the change slot.

Well, of course there wasn't an extra coin there. I wondered if God would have considered that theft and wondered why couldn't he give me an easier sign, like maybe the nickel from the machine having a significant date. Like 1978, the year I was born.

With the thoughts only half-formed and not really taken seriously, I fished the nickel back out and looked at it.

  • Current Mood
    shocked shocked