June 13th, 2002


Taking a page from shadesong...

Reading at work: A Keeper of Words, by Anna-Marie Ferguson. This book accompanies the Legend: Arthurian Tarot. I'm in a hurry to finish it because I'm trading it and my extra copy of the deck for the out-of-print Shakesperian Tarot and I need to get it in the mail, like, yesterday. Then I need to go on to two romances for review for www.likesbooks.com.

Reading at home: I feel obligated to finish one of the romances before I truly let myself loose on Harry Potter! I've skimmed the first two but really want to read them straight through. Also various books on tarot and feng shui, and I'm itching to reread my favorite Titanic book, A Night to Remember by Walter Lord. And I need to read the Anita Blake books that shadesong and yendi lent me. yendi, did you realize you wrote a dedication to your "little sister" in the first one? Too funny.

Reading is my addiction. It feels so good to be reading again...
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Here's why the whole Hufflepuff thing makes me mad.

Everyone said "chill out, we're saying you're really loyal and a really good friend!!"

Heh. Well, being a really good friend sucks. When you're the dependable one, everyone "forgets" to invite you to the fun stuff. Then they get in fights with their fun friends and come bitch to you about it. Then they make up with their fun friends and boom, they're off again while you sit around wondering why no one appreciates your loyalty.

No one doubts that the other houses can be loyal (even Slytherin is loyal to their own), but they have other skills too. I get the feeling that Hufflepuff is damning with faint praise -- "oh, Hufflepuffers are really nice. And they're loyal." Because they have nothing better to do -- they don't have the brains or panache.

I don't want to be known for being loyal when I could be cool in my own right instead, like Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and yes, even Slytherin. I'm tired of being "the good friend."
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Lately I've been spending a lot of time by myself. It's kind of like being on hold from the world. When I do socialize these days, I tend to seek out one or two close friends. The racuous good time at lunch today was about as social as I've been lately. (Thanks, shadesong and yendi!)

I don't know if I want to be alone or not. I know I bitch about it, but at the same time I've passed up improv at DramaTech two weeks running, not because I didn't want to go, but because I just didn't feel like being around a bunch of noisy people.

Maybe this is the isolation and withdrawal that came up in the birthday reading polychromatic22 gave me. It's not a bad thing. Sometimes I feel lonely and get upset, but sometimes I'm grateful for the quiet. Last night I got out the afghan and started crocheting for the first time in months, and it felt good to create.

I guess I'm just taking some time to be the Hermit, and when I come back out I'll be better than ever.

(Of course, this doesn't mean I don't want invitations to cool stuff. ;) )
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