October 17th, 2003



There are moments when I look at my life and wonder, How did it come to this?

There are moments where I shake my insignificant little fist at the sky and bitch and whine about the things I don't have that I want, the things I don't have that I think I want, the things I haven't accomplished, the things that didn't turn out like I thought they were supposed to.

And then there are moments when I look around me.

Geeking out with scarcrest, the only person more obsessed with Homicide: Life on the Street than I am.
Snarking with atomicnumber51 over ex-boyfriends from hell and the summer we lived in Nashville in a house that smelled like dog piss.
Plotting mischief with 10dimensions.
The moment every week where I walk into Criminal Records' comics section and ask Rick, "What's new and good?"
Playing with alanator's dog.
Snuggling a kitty.
Writing something that makes someone laugh, or think.
Looking up into a night sky with infinite stars.
Facing down AT&T and Dekalb County in the same year.
Putting on new clothes and thinking "damn, I'm hot."
Dyeing my hair so red it couldn't possibly be natural.
Realizing how good I am at my job.
Looking at myself in the mirror and knowing how far I've come.

And in those moments, I know it's okay if not all my dreams came true, because I'm living a life beyond my wildest dreams.
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scarcrest called to inform me that he's gotten a new cell phone that you can program to dial a number when you say the appropriate name. If Jason says "snarky" to his phone, it dials me.

He was going to program it to call me when he said "fuck" but he occasionally uses his phone around his parents...
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    amused amused