October 26th, 2004


"Thinkin' is for pussies."

I'm eating, sleeping, breathing, and pooping the election. It's driving me stark raving mad. It's making me do things like sit here staring at www.electoral-vote.com juggling the numbers and praying that just a few of those polls are wrong. In short, it's making me miserable. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next week.

I tried to take last weekend off and have a nice break while I was in Florida. Florida. Ha ha ha. What the fuck was I thinking? The most upsetting thing I saw was the billboard we passed in Jacksonville that said "Let's defeat John Kerry and give Vietnam veterans the homecoming they never got." I immediately started screaming something incoherent which probably scared the other passengers. How can anyone say that with a straight face? John Kerry is a Vietnam vet. George W. Bush used his family connections to get out of Vietnam and didn't even fulfill his obligations to the National Guard (the same National Guard he's now stranding in Iraq for long periods of time). The mind boggles.

But you can't reason with the people who put up that billboard. I'm sure you've seen this study, but I'll post it anyway:

Three out of four self-described supporters of President George W Bush still believe pre-war Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (WMD) or active programmes to produce them, and that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein gave "substantial support" to al-Qaeda terrorists, according to a survey released Thursday.

Moreover, as many or more Bush supporters hold those beliefs today than they did several months ago, before the publication of a series of well-publicised official government reports that debunked both notions.

This goes along with my description of the basic Bush philosophy, as I described it while watching the debate with streamweaver and cadoln: "Thinkin' is for pussies." And its corollary, "Readin' is for pussies", because people are persisting in these beliefs despite documented proof to the contrary. If Fox News says it, it's good enough for me! I don't think I've ever been so relieved to get back inside the perimeter as I was last Sunday night, shortly after nearly losing my supper over the "Thank God for Fox News" billboard.

Michael's parents are Republican, and when I met him he was undecided. Last week he told me he's voting for Kerry. I'd like to flatter myself that my incisive commentary made the difference, but in all likelihood it had a little more to do with maximizing his chances of election-night nookie. Which entirely depends on the outcome. If Kerry wins, yeah, I'll be lookin' to celebrate. If the unthinkable happens (I can't even bring myself to type it), I'll be drinking myself into oblivion and crying a lot. Not much of a turn-on.

I've sent in my ballot, I've made my contributions, I've done voter canvassing, I've talked and persuaded and begged till I'm blue in the face. I don't know what more I can do.

I got so depressed I went and read the Bill O'Reilly sexual harrassment papers at the Smoking Gun, hoping the humiliation would cheer me up. I don't think it worked, but at least I got a snicker out of the "falafel" line.
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    crushed disconsolate