November 1st, 2005

MVP by ariedana

What time is it? It's Spoiled Millionaires time!

So Halloween is over and now everyone will start preparing for Christmas (totally neglecting my beloved Thanksgiving). But it's okay, because what happens today is almost as good as Christmas: the beginning of Spoiled Millionaires Theater* the NBA season!

* Spoiled Millionaires Theater can actually refer to any professional sport, but I prefer basketball because 1). I understand the rules and 2). I like bling.

So, in honor of the holiday season... my NBA wish list!

  • This one is so obvious I shouldn't even have to put it on here: I want DRAHMAH in Lakerland!! The Lakers are the best dysfunctional soap opera in sports (sorry, fellow Yankee-haters) and you know you want to see Kobe and Phil at each other's throats. Kwame Brown is just the icing on the cake.
  • And the corrolary: DRAHMAH in New York!! Come on, this is a train wreck just waiting to happen. What's the over/under on how long until Larry Brown gets caught taking calls from other teams during halftime? I'll be generous and say March.
  • I want the players to stop bitching about the new dress code and have some fun with it. Two words, guys: Draft Day. I wanna see some chartreuse suits!
  • I want the Suns to prove everyone wrong and go on a tear even without Amare Stoudemire, thus proving that Steve Nash really is the MVP.
  • More Ali G. spots.
  • Lots of screaming on all the sports shows. Will this be the year that someone finally punches Steven A. Smith in the mouth? Stay tuned!
  • No more injuries for Grant Hill. Enough is enough.
  • I'm not saying I'm wishing for a huge brawl to break out between the Toronto players and their increasingly-unhinged coach, Sam Mitchell, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not. I'm just hoping that it's televised.
  • I could tell you I want a great season for the Hawks, but that might give you the mistaken impression that I give a shit about the Hawks.
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    excited excited