Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark

  • Mood:

Transcript, "The Pet Psychic," July 26, 2002

The Pet Psychic: Today we'll be talking to the Kellinator and her two cats. What's the problem, Kellinator?
Kellinator: Well, Sam keeps glaring at me and neither one will let me sleep.
The Pet Psychic: Okay. Well, Sam here has quite a lot to say... he's very upset with you. He says you're neglecting him.
Kellinator: I'm not neglecting him. His mom and I just put him on a diet.
The Pet Psychic: Ah. Well, Sam says you damn well better feed him or he'll rip your throat out in your sleep.
Kellinator: He needs to be on a diet. He's a tubbo.
The Pet Psychic: He says he knows what a "tubbo" is and he doesn't appreciate it.
Kellinator: Scheisskopf.
The Pet Psychic: He knows German too. He says he's smarter than you, and when you're as old and smart as he is you can do whatever you like. Oh, and he has a message: "You kids get off my lawn."
Kellinator: Damn. Well, what about Nick?
The Pet Psychic: Nick is scared. He says people want to put him in the cuddle box, and he doesn't like it.
Kellinator: Oh, that's just Rick.
The Pet Psychic: Well, he knows what the cuddle box is, and he doesn't think it's funny that your friend wants to put him in the microwave.
Kellinator: Well, tell him he can take a swipe at Rick if it'll make him feel better.
The Pet Psychic: Good luck, Kellinator. You have some really fucked-up cats.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.