Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

  • Mood:

I have discovered the dumbest time sink ever...

http://www.fanfiction.net/

I had no idea there was so much bad fanfic in the world. I mean, really bad fanfic. Not just bad fanfic. So-bad-you'd-gouge-your-eyes-out-if-only-you-could-stop-laughing fanfic.


The most rudimentary perusal has revealed:

** a Harry Potter fanfic where Hermione gets it on with Draco, then Harry. I have fixated on the fact that Harry ties Hermione to the floor. What the fuck, dude? You can't tie people to the floor. It's flat.

** Titanic: The True and Untold Story. "Jack and Rose were walking down the port side of the ship past Gordon fisherman. He was catching some fish sticks. Then Nessy the Loch Ness monster swam by."

** one simply called Powerpuff Jackass: "The Powerpuff Girls Jackass Parody where YOU choose which dangerous stunt is used next, Join Professor Utonium and others as they perform stunts that will make you sick!"

** a Blue's Clues piece that is so foul I'm not even posting the link. It makes South Park look like Sesame Street.

** and this masterpiece, which for some reason is filed under "Blue's Clues":

"Once upon a time there was a backyard , and the sound of a chain gun echoed across the grass , die punks ! Meet your maker Tommy go to hell ! I want that boy dead or alive! Ahhhhhhhhh die die die die die die you American spy ………….. ( cut to blackness) …..AHHHHHHH …………. ( sound of blood hitting floor) Timmy NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO …………………………


( cut to card )



Rugrats in Nam the movie



FADE AWAY TOMMY HEELLEENN"

(One review of that one simply reads "Hmmm... that just dropped my I.Q. by 16 whole points.")

The best part, of course, is the reviews:

"OMG. Crack is bad for you."

"this story is crap."

"No I DON'T like it, and no I DON'T think you should write more. I wanted to give you a chance after the review I left on your tomb raider fiction but now I wish I hadn't. This is pathetic."

"This was not even a little bit funny. Do us all a favor and stop butchering this movie."

This is a lot like when I used to find bad personal ads, only a lot easier!
Subscribe

  • (no subject)

    You know you're getting old when "too drunk to fuck" becomes "too drunk to floss."

  • Here's a longshot

    Is anyone reading this familiar with both The Shield and Days of Our Lives? I may be doing something completely demented for NaNoWriMo, and it's…

  • Game of Thrones geekery

    I want a t-shirt that says TEAM DAENERYS and has little baby dragons climbing all over it. Also, if I were using LJ much and into making icons, I…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 9 comments