Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark

  • Mood:

I have discovered the dumbest time sink ever...

I had no idea there was so much bad fanfic in the world. I mean, really bad fanfic. Not just bad fanfic. So-bad-you'd-gouge-your-eyes-out-if-only-you-could-stop-laughing fanfic.

The most rudimentary perusal has revealed:

** a Harry Potter fanfic where Hermione gets it on with Draco, then Harry. I have fixated on the fact that Harry ties Hermione to the floor. What the fuck, dude? You can't tie people to the floor. It's flat.

** Titanic: The True and Untold Story. "Jack and Rose were walking down the port side of the ship past Gordon fisherman. He was catching some fish sticks. Then Nessy the Loch Ness monster swam by."

** one simply called Powerpuff Jackass: "The Powerpuff Girls Jackass Parody where YOU choose which dangerous stunt is used next, Join Professor Utonium and others as they perform stunts that will make you sick!"

** a Blue's Clues piece that is so foul I'm not even posting the link. It makes South Park look like Sesame Street.

** and this masterpiece, which for some reason is filed under "Blue's Clues":

"Once upon a time there was a backyard , and the sound of a chain gun echoed across the grass , die punks ! Meet your maker Tommy go to hell ! I want that boy dead or alive! Ahhhhhhhhh die die die die die die you American spy ………….. ( cut to blackness) …..AHHHHHHH …………. ( sound of blood hitting floor) Timmy NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO …………………………

( cut to card )

Rugrats in Nam the movie


(One review of that one simply reads "Hmmm... that just dropped my I.Q. by 16 whole points.")

The best part, of course, is the reviews:

"OMG. Crack is bad for you."

"this story is crap."

"No I DON'T like it, and no I DON'T think you should write more. I wanted to give you a chance after the review I left on your tomb raider fiction but now I wish I hadn't. This is pathetic."

"This was not even a little bit funny. Do us all a favor and stop butchering this movie."

This is a lot like when I used to find bad personal ads, only a lot easier!

  • (no subject)

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