** No snoring.
** I can trash the apartment if I wanna.
** If the sheets are dirty, who cares?
** Your vibrator never has a headache
** No one bitches at you if you want to sleep in a stained, holey t-shirt advertising shitty beer
** No one steals the covers
** No one bitches at you for stealing the covers
** Lying on the floor drinking too much cider and watching Homicide? A perfectly valid evening's entertainment
** And no one there to get annoyed if you start pontificating on the hotness of Richard Belzer
** Guarantees no one will eat all your ice cream in the middle of the night
** Spend the money you would have spent on Valentine's and anniversary on something ludicrously expensive for yourself