Ever seen Red Dwarf? If not, you should. Go watch it now and then come back and read the rest of this post. If you have (and that's all of you now, because I just know that you all do exactly what I tell you to!) then remember the episode "Better Than Life"? The crew is playing this awesome virtual reality game called Better Than Life, where you can have all your wildest desires come true. At first things are great, as you'd expect, but then the crew members find themselves in danger because even in a virtual reality paradise, Rimmer imagines bad things happening to him. That's me. When my mind wanders, it frequently takes me into worst-possible-case scenarios. Most days I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I would love to follow through on metaphorge's advice and practice perfectly positive thinking, but there are two problems:
1). I don't know how;
2). More importantly, I'm not sure if I can let myself. You know what my bio page says? "Her mission in life is to make the bad things funny." That's what I do. I bitch. And the only reason I get away with it as much as I do is I attempt to do it in an amusing manner. atomicnumber51 would have hung up on me and banished me to Too Lame For Hogwarts if I didn't do my bitching so snarkily.
I'm not Little Miss Mary Fucking Sunshine. And even if becoming her would solve all my problems, would I still be me?