Mine would say:
"Snark snark snark."
"Lawyers are assholes."
"This reminds me of this one episode of Homicide..."
"Can I put that in the novel?"
"Motherfucking gosh-darn piece of shit!!"
Accessories: Cell phone, cat's-eye glasses, assorted crystals, Celtic knot jewelry, mini-backpack Purse O' Doom, one-liter water bottle (magically transforms into a bottle of Woodchuck cider at 8 pm).
What did I leave out? What does your doll say?