Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

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Four truths and a lie, revealed!

I went to kindergarten with a murderer.

True! One of the first school shootings to receive nationwide media attention was in fall 1995, when a senior walked into his rural redneck high school (my school's cross-county rival) with a .22 and shot two teachers and a student, killing the student and one teacher and seriously wounding the other teacher. That night I went home in shock to watch the news and pulled out my kindergarten yearbook to discover the gunman had been in my class.

I flunked my driver's test when I pulled out in front of another car.

True! I have many talents; driving is not one of them. I got flustered during the test (I was already running late, at age 18 and one week before starting college) and pulled out in front of a car on the Pulaski square. I did manage to get my license in Columbia a few days later, but mostly because the tester felt sorry for me and knew I wasn't taking a car to college. To this day, I tell passengers in my car that I don't mind if they pray, but please do it quietly.

I was once briefly engaged.

True. The detail that makes this one interesting is just how briefly it was: thirty seconds. During the summer of 1999 (aka "the worst summer of my life"), my college boyfriend and I were separated by more hundreds of miles than usual and going through some very big problems. We were on our college's chat program arguing and crying when he, in all sincerity, asked me to marry him, and I, in all sincerity, accepted. Thirty seconds later, I realized that this was absolutely not the way to start a life together and made him revoke the proposal. I suppose there's a part of me that occasionally wonders what if I hadn't done that. Most of you got this one right, but significantly, scarcrest, probably the person on earth who knows me best, didn't.

During my freshman year of college, I drank champagne until I puked in the administrative headquarters of my college, under the watchful eye of VUPD.

This one is False!! But like all the most convincing lies, it's got more than a bit of truth to it. After the Original Cast performance my freshman year, the loser I was then dating finagled invitations for us and some friends to the Champagne Gala/cast party at Kirkland Hall, the administrative headquarters of Vanderbilt. My underage friends and I illegally downed several glasses of champagne (I had five) while trying to figure out if VUPD was going to stop us. They didn't, and I got the most toasted I had been up till that point in my sheltered little life. However, I did not throw up. Those of you who have been subjected to the story know that I didn't drink that far to excess till the unfortunate night after my twenty-first birthday. Congratulations to the few of you who got this right!

I once received a mob death threat.

Over 69% of you thought this one was the lie, but it's True! Come on, did you really think I'd make the lie that obvious? About a year and a half ago, some bullshit LJ drama erupted with a former friend simultaneously threatening legal action and a mob hit on me. Think about this for a moment. Why would you threaten legal action in the same sentence as a highly illegal death threat? Happily, the person's Mafia connections weren't nearly as good as she thought, but for someone as highly paranoid as me, it did make for a rather unpleasant evening.

Thanks for playing!
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