Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

  • Mood:

Completely silly unsent letters

Dear Hands,

Please stop bleeding. It's only December 8, you can't possibly be that chapped already.

Love,
Kelly

************

Dear Associated Press,

Please hurry up and post the new college basketball top 25 poll so I can see if Vandy got any votes and then run around screaming.

Also, fix the BCS, ya fuckin' hosers.

Love,
Kelly

***********

Dear Self,

Stop wasting so much time watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. We all know you're just watching it for Munch anyway, so let me remind you that you have Homicide DVDs and can bask in the snarky goodness that is Munch anytime you want, rather than settling for Dick Wolf's pale imitation. You could even write some fanfic, which would ensure that Munch gets enough screen time.

Also, while you did have a very good time drinking coconut rum last night, please try to remember that in general you should not drink that much rum on a Sunday night or really anytime when you have to work the next day. You didn't have a hangover, but you were up way too late.

Finally, do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Love,
Kelly
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