A Few Things I Learned From the State of the Union:
- The United States military needs the Patriot Act to protect us from terrorists. Apparently they need the Patriot Act more than the combat pay and benefits that Bushie-boy slashed. Shame on you, Mr. President. Shame on you.
- Drug-abusing athletes = bad.
Drug-abusing presidents = apparently okay.
- In addition, with Iraq putting the Q in Quagmire and the economy doing backflips in the toilet, we should really be worried about an important issue endangering American civilization as we know it: steroids in sports!
- Bush is all for equal rights for all Americans. Unless they're gay.
- Spending lots of money encouraging straight people to get married, however, makes sense. Hey, why don't you guys join up with that whole "go to Vegas and do something stupid" tourism campaign and kill two birds with one stone? Hey, it worked for Britney Spears!!
- Sexually-transmitted diseases are rampant among America's youth. Therefore we will keep up the abstinence-only sex ed. programs, because they're working so well.
- Gotta love the Talking Heads facial expression on Colin Powell: "My God!! What have I done?!"
- No matter how drunk or stupid Ted Kennedy is, I will love him forever for those facial expressions.
- The Dems should have gotten streamweaver to deliver their rebuttal: "Everything that guy just said was bullshit!!"
Glad to see so many of you enjoyed the drinking game. I did not play it, which is lucky because if I had, I would have almost immediately gotten abso-fucking-lutely trashed and staged an inpromptu protest in downtown Decatur. Like I really need to add to my FBI file...