Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark
kellinator

More from the luuuuuuv trenches...

Not that I have time for this or anything... but these are too good to pass up...

PUMA10
"Medical Doctor looking for marraige"
Medical doctor wanting a serious relationship leading to marraige and perhaps children, am funny, kind, loving and rich.......

Who needs personality when you got the ca$h?

Same guy in "intimate encounters":

Am an expericenced sexual partner wishing both a sexual encounter and possiblt a permanent relationship

He's 59 and he wants a virgin. Can you say double standards, boys and girls?

I can't decide what to say about this next one:

Through wooded glade, and many lands. I search for one to take my hand. Through brightest day and darkest night. I seek one with whom to share my life. A poetic flaire I have at times, as apparent from my rhyme. Eyes of sky and hair of earth. Soul of sadness full of Mirth. By the means of my keeping, love do I wish to be reaping. By this ad do I seek to find, an eye to catch, a kindred mind.

Kinda sweet, actually... though it won't win any Pulitzers... but doesn't it sound like an incantation?

This next guy's ad isn't up yet, which is probably just as well because how can you top this handle?

THONGLUVA

Here's Mr. Clingy:

OK, here's what I want: I want to find a girl that is the center of my world, and I want to be the center of her world. I want to give her unbelievable amounts of affection and attention and have her actually return that affection. I want to go out with her and only her (I don't date more than one person). I'm not a typical guy. I'm very supportive, caring, understanding, and selfless - doing everything I can to make the special someone in my life the happiest girl. The biggest thing in the world to me is not sex, it's holding a girl tight in my arms and having her hold me back. Although, I am a very sexual person, I'm just a caring and loving one that values affection, kindness and understanding, as much or more than sex. People are more important to me than objects and money. You could break my most prized posession and I'd hug you and say it will be ok. I can fix a car or buy a new computer eventually, but I can never find another you. If you are mentally unstable or if you are the independant type and need "your space" all the time, move right along. I don't want to be a part time boyfriend. I want to be with a girl who actually likes me enough to want to be with me and not escape to go with "friends" (who all too often are ex-boyfriends and that is NOT OK!!!) Now that I have eliminated 99.99% of all the girls online, if you are a .01%'er you definitely have to write me. If you are anything like me then we would have the most understanding, passionate, caring, and loving relationship that anyone has ever had.

It's not okay to be friends with your exes? Don't like independent women? Never mind, Mr. Insecure.

And in the intimate section:

HERSHEY3
"9" sexy chocolate bar"

All I have to say is: Ow.

SHAVEDBALLLS

I really didn't want to know that.

ROCK151
"hey girls,looking for some hot fun,want to get licked good,let me know"

I guess subtlety is overrated.

SEX7
"I LOVE SEX"

Charming.

RAJA88
"I want to juice your bottom"

What the hell does that mean?

And my favorite of the day:

SLIMMCUTTA
"babygurl put it on me"
Hello and thanx for checking me out, first ladies let me say that i love all of you(all yhall lol) . A quick description of me is im bout 6'2 athletic build with a thin beard an gotee also a few tattos.I'm looking for a woman to have a very descreet friendship with, maby meet somtimes for a meal some drinks go to the show or just hang out in the house and get into some freaky thangs.I'm thugged out an not no soft pushova weak brotha but yet in still i do know how to act and treat the one im with.I know thats gonna scare some of u off but thats ight so to all my ladies who know they want a rida thats got they back an can handle any situation hit ol boi an tell me what u workin with... slimm
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