Madam President, Queen of Snark (kellinator) wrote,
Madam President, Queen of Snark

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Unsent letters, sports edition

Dear Eli Manning,

Just because your brother's making bank in the NFL doesn't mean you get to be a diva before you've even played a single game. A bit of unsolicited advice for you and your stage-momma daddy: Sit down and shut up.

Dear Milwaukee Bucks,

Thank you for being the lone team to pull an upset so far in the playoffs. You're doing your part to keep things at least a little interesting.

Dear Tim Thomas,

Seriously, dude, STFU. You forgot the First Commandment of Trash Talk: Thy mouth shalt not write checks thy body cannot cash. The only reason Keith Van Horn has the reputation of Softest Player in the NBA instead of you is because he's a Mormon choirboy.

On second though, don't shut up. So far your infantile baiting is the most interesting thing about the playoffs.

Dear Lakers,

I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you. Did I mention that I hate you?

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