Don't think it has escaped my notice that every major traffic light on my morning commute is weighted against me, because obviously people only drive to the interstate. In fact, they work on the interstate. They sit in the morning traffic jam for two hours, then they pull little desks out of their SUVs and set them up on 75/85 and work there all day until 5 o'clock when they put them back in their SUVs and sit in the traffic jam for another two hours. Bitch please.
Try actually observing the city's traffic patterns for a change,
Dear Fucking Pedestrians,
If you want us to follow the traffic law where we don't run over pedestrians, then it is your moral and ethical obligation to follow the traffic law where you don't saunter out in front of oncoming traffic like you own the place when you don't even have the fucking light. Bitch please.
If I had a tank...,
Dear Fucking Parking Office,
[rant censored by the Committee of Anatomical Impossibilities]
Absolutely positively no motherfucking love whatsoever,