So Halloween is over and now everyone will start preparing for Christmas (totally neglecting my beloved Thanksgiving). But it's okay, because what happens today is almost as good as Christmas: the beginning of
Spoiled Millionaires Theater* the NBA season!
* Spoiled Millionaires Theater can actually refer to any professional sport, but I prefer basketball because 1). I understand the rules and 2). I like bling.
So, in honor of the holiday season... my NBA wish list!
- This one is so obvious I shouldn't even have to put it on here: I want DRAHMAH in Lakerland!! The Lakers are the best dysfunctional soap opera in sports (sorry, fellow Yankee-haters) and you know you want to see Kobe and Phil at each other's throats. Kwame Brown is just the icing on the cake.
- And the corrolary: DRAHMAH in New York!! Come on, this is a train wreck just waiting to happen. What's the over/under on how long until Larry Brown gets caught taking calls from other teams during halftime? I'll be generous and say March.
- I want the players to stop bitching about the new dress code and have some fun with it. Two words, guys: Draft Day. I wanna see some chartreuse suits!
- I want the Suns to prove everyone wrong and go on a tear even without Amare Stoudemire, thus proving that Steve Nash really is the MVP.
- More Ali G. spots.
- Lots of screaming on all the sports shows. Will this be the year that someone finally punches Steven A. Smith in the mouth? Stay tuned!
- No more injuries for Grant Hill. Enough is enough.
- I'm not saying I'm wishing for a huge brawl to break out between the Toronto players and their increasingly-unhinged coach, Sam Mitchell, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not. I'm just hoping that it's televised.
- I could tell you I want a great season for the Hawks, but that might give you the mistaken impression that I give a shit about the Hawks.