The Goddesses of Snark’s Twelve Step Program to Beat Dramaholism
1. We admitted we were powerless over our dramamongering — that our lives had become stinking pits of drama whoredom.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could smack us and yell "what the FUCK is wrong with you?!" to restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our fucked-up lives over to two goddesses too fabulous for us to understand
4. Made a searching and thorough list of our past drama llamas for the amusement of said goddesses
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our DRAMUH.
6. Were entirely ready to have the two fabulous goddesses remove all these defects of character drama-llamaness, kicking and screaming if need be.
7. Humbly asked Them to beat the hell out of our sorry drama-llama asses
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and made a public post detailing the shitty things we had done to each and every one of them and why it was wrong of us.
9. Placed our lips directly to such people’s left butt cheek in a demonstration of our supplication wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly bent over for a good reaming from the all powerful fabulous goddesses.
11. Sought through excessive use of flattery and buying Them many margaritas to improve our conscious contact with Them, as we understood Them, praying only for knowledge of Their will for us and the power to carry Them from the bar afterwards.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to drama whores, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.