I have had a very good year and I really don't need anything for Christmas. But there is one thing that I really really want.
All I want for Christmas is for Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears to keep doing dumb shit.
I mean, I know just asking will probably land me on the naughty list for good, but seriously, Santa! Have you seen this shit? It's better than Days of Our Lives!
Now if I were nice, I would ask you to bring Lindsay a breathalyzer to hook up to her computer's power button so she can't drunk-email and some damn panties for Britney, but we've already established that I'm not nice, so please don't.
I know it's a lot to ask, Santa, but remember, I always say screw the cookies and leave rum out for you instead. If K-Fed does something else really stupid and entertaining before Christmas, I'll throw in tequila too.